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The Comprehensive X-Files Drinking Game
Version 1.21

by Keith Hornberger et al.

Welcome to the home page of the drinking game that blows all other X-Files drinking games (sorry, fellas) out of the water! In the spirit of good drinking games, this one is not a laundry list of routine things that happen on the show; it is a laundry list of the routine things that are funny. This makes all the difference in the world when it comes time to play the game.

INSTRUCTIONS: Each time an event listed below occurs, take the designated number of sips from your beverage of choice. Please note that items on the chart are cumulative. For example, if Mulder cracks a one liner, and it contains sexual innuendo, and it's directed at Scully, then you would take a total of (1 + 1 + 2) four sips. Items are broken down by character.

SUGGESTIONS: The author will gladly take suggestions for additions to future versions of the game. You will receive credit and be added to a list of contributors. Just e-mail me your ideas. No promises on what I'll include in future versions.

DISCLAIMER: Mulder, Scully, and everything else related to The X-Files are the property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Twentieth Century Fox. I'm just humbly borrowing them and having a little fun. On a related note, do me a favor and don't rip the game off. If you want to e-mail it around, fine, but I insist that my name and the site URL remain attached to any copies, electronic or print.

ALCOHOL NOTICE:  I must say for the record that you should not drink alcohol while playing this game. Suck yogurt with bee pollen through a straw, or eat sunflower seeds. That being said, what you actually do while playing is entirely up to you and entirely beyond my control. Whatever happens to you as a result is your problem and not mine.


You are X-Phile number Hit Counter by Digits to meander your way in here.

Special Agent Fox Mulder

Action Sips
1. Makes a one-liner (Mulderism)
...and it contains contains sexual innuendo
...and it's directed at Scully
1
1
2
2. Someone calls Mulder on the cell phone
...and it's NOT Scully
1
2
3. Leaves message on Scully's answering machine
1
4. Concocts a hare-brained theory
...and phrases it in a manner that pokes fun at himself
...and it turns out to be correct
1
2
CHUG
5. Makes death-defying leap of logic to solve a case
2
6. Ditches Scully while on a case
1
7. Drops his gun
...and amazingly produces another from an ankle holster
1
2
8. Gets shot or beat up
...by Scully
1
3
9. Shows up at his mother's house
...in the middle of the night
2
2
10. Someone calls him "Spooky"
1
11. Calls Scully "Dana"
3
12. Cries
...convincingly
2
4
13. Has an argument with Skinner
2
14. Appears before any kind of board or court
...and makes a fool of himself
...and is actually taken seriously
1
1
3
15. Is spotted NOT wearing a suit/trenchcoat 2
16. Goes jogging
...while wearing a funny hat
2
3
17. Eats sunflower seeds 1
18. Meets with an informant (Deep Throat, etc.)
...bonus if Senator Matheson
2
3
19. Makes reference to his x-rated collection (magazines, videos, etc.) 2
20. Goes on a date CHUG
21. Explains crappy behavior by citing lack of sleep 2
22. Has disturbing nightmare or vision 2
23. Family member dies or is seriously wounded 3
24. Says, "Trust me on this one, Scully." 2

Special Agent Dana Scully

Action Sips
1. Makes a one-liner (Scullyism)
...and it contains sexual innuendo
...and it's directed at Mulder
1
2
3
2. Smirks at a Mulderism 1
3. Actually smiles or laughs 4
4. Someone calls Scully on the cell phone
...and it's NOT Mulder
1
2
5. Leaves message on Mulder's answering machine 1
6. Insists "there has to be a scientific explanation for all of this" 1
7. Concocts hare-brained scientific theory to counter Mulder's wacko ideas 1
8. Is in the middle of something important when Mulder butts in
...and she tells him to buzz off
1
CHUG
9. Asks Mulder, "Where are you going?" 1
10. Calls Mulder "Fox" 4
11. Spotted writing her "little notes" 1
12. Appears before committee/review board
...to defend Mulder's actions
...and winds up suspended or in jail
1
2
3
13. Performs laboratory work/autopsy
...and finishes up in one-tenth the time it would really take
1
2
14. Meets with Agent Pendrell
...and does something to make him swoon
1
2
15. Says, "I'm fine"
...and she actually IS fine
1
3
16. Has a nose bleed
...and someone asks if she is alright
...and the reply is NOT, "I'm fine"
1
1
CHUG
17. Is spotted not wearing pantsuit/trenchcoat 2
18. Her gold cross necklace becomes a powerful religious symbol 2
19. Finds herself stalked by a killer
...and is rescued by Mulder
...and actually manages to save herself
1
2
3
20. Spends Friday night doing anything but relax or have fun 2
21. Goes on a date
...and actually gets somewhere
...and wakes up with a tattoo
4
CHUG
2
22. Family member dies or is seriously wounded 2
23. Fails to tell family about a serious personal problem 1
24. Takes off her shirt in front of a mirror, just as the camera quickly pans away 2

Mulder and Scully Combos

Action Sips
1. The following conversation occurs:
Cellular phone rings. Scully answers.
Scully: "Scully."
Mulder: "Scully, it's me."
Scully: "Mulder, where are you?"
...and the roles are reversed (Scully calls Mulder, etc.)




1
2
2. Flash FBI badges 1
3. Seen driving together in a rental car
...and it's NOT a Ford Taurus
...and it's NOT white, gray, or silver
...Scully is driving
1
2
2
3
4. Scully warns Mulder not to do something
...and Mulder actually listens
2
3
5. Scully's faith in God makes her a believer and Mulder a skeptic 3
6. Enter a forest and immediately split up 2
7. Boldly enter dark rooms
...with industrial-size flashlights
1
1
8. Shoot someone
...resulting in a fatality
1
2
9. Mulder witnesses a paranormal event and Scully arrives just in time to miss it 2
10. Seen socializing off-duty 3
11. Mulder puts a hand on Scully's shoulder
...and Scully doesn't shrug him off
1
2
12. Dance
...and it's not a fantasy/dream sequence
3
CHUG
13. Hug
...not initiated due to stress or trauma over loss of family members
2
4
14. Kiss (anywhere but on the lips)
...initiated by Scully
...not initiated due to stress or trauma over loss of family members
3
4
CHUG
15. Kiss (on the lips)
...unless Mulder turns out to be Eddie van Blundht in disguise
CHUG CHUG
4
16. Sex CHUG CHUG CHUG

Assistant Director Walter Skinner

Action Sips
1. Mulder/Scully come to him for help
...and he says no
...but later on helps anyway
...and gets his ass kicked
1
1
1
2
2. Tells Mulder to cease whatever he's doing
...and Mulder actually listens
1
3
3. Berates Scully for not "babysitting" Mulder 2
4. Mulder/Scully draw a gun on him 2
5. Appears in his underwear or other state of undress
...and doing so actually serves a purpose
2
4

The Cigarette-Smoking Man

Action Sips
1. Lights up a Morley 1
2. Smashes out a Morley at a poignant moment to symbolize death 1
3. Speaks in parable or metaphor ("A man digs a hole, Mr. Skinner, he risks falling into it," etc.)
...and is non-threatening about it
1
3
4. Is forced to explain his actions to other members of the Consortium 2
5. Offers to "help" Mulder in some way
...and later stabs Mulder in the back
...and is actually sincere
1
1
CHUG
6. Announces that he the father of either Samantha or Fox Mulder CHUG
7. Gets shot and dies
...and is then mysteriously resurrected
CHUG
CHUG

The Lone Gunmen

Action Sips
1. Frohike tells Scully she's hot 1
2. Langly demonstrates his security paranoia 1
3. Frohike chides Mulder about his x-rated collection 2
4. Frohike appears alone with information 2
5. Byers is seen NOT wearing his suit 3
6. Langly gets a haircut CHUG
7. Any Gunman is referred to by first name 2
8. The Gunmen perform an analysis for Mulder
...with equipment that would cost over a million dollars
...in half the time it would take a trained professional
1
2
2

Alex Krycek

Action Sips
1. Reaches the end of an episode and is NOT on the lam
...and is NOT in agonizing pain
3
3
2. Tries to "make nice" with Mulder
...and is sincere about it
2
CHUG
3. Acts as a human punching bag
...for someone other than Mulder
1
2
4. Kills a member of Mulder/Scully's family 3
5. Finally dies CHUG

Mulder Informants (Deep Throat, X, UNiblonde)

Action Sips
1. Mysteriously show up at Mulder's apartment uninvited 1
2. Meet Mulder in a public place
...and it's a park bench
...and it's NOT in Washington, D.C.
1
1
2
3. Offer Mulder a tiny shred of information
...and tell him that's all he needs to know
...and it really IS all he needs to know
1
1
CHUG
4. Lie to Mulder to protect their own interests 2
5. Die
...bonus if UNiblonde
1
CHUG

Mrs. Margaret Scully

Action Sips
1. Has Scully confide in her
...and then tells the rest of the family
1
1
2. Rushes to Scully's bedside 2
3. Calls Mulder "Fox" 2

Mrs. Tina Mulder

Action Sips
1. Is asked about Bill Mulder, the Consortium, or Samantha by Mulder
...and "can't remember" because "it was so long ago"
...and blames it on her stroke
...and actually answers
...and becomes angry and slaps Mulder
1
1
2
3
3
2. Speaks with the Cigarette-Smoking Man 2
3. Admits to having Cigarette-Smoking Man's child (Fox, Samantha, or otherwise) CHUG
4. Calls Mulder "Fox" even though Mulder insists his parents call him "Mulder" 1

Samantha Mulder

Action Sips
1. Appears unexpectedly
...and is not a hybrid clone
2
CHUG
2. Appears in a Mulder dream/flashback 1
3. Announces that the Cigarette-Smoking Man is her father CHUG
4. Actually sticks around longer than a day CHUG

Miscellaneous Happenstances

Action Sips
1. The number "1013" appears in any context 1
2. The number "1121" appears in any context 1
3. A minor character steps in or touches some variety of sticky goo
...and dies horribly soon afterwards
...and Mulder and Scully encounter the same goo later on
1
1
2

Last Update: 27 September 2009
URL: http://www.xfilesdrinkinggame.com/index.html